Who looks after a page

Anyone who knew them may start a page so there is a place to gather. Starting a page does not make you the final steward. It makes you the first person holding the keys.

When you create, you tell us how you are related: partner, child, parent, relative, or friend. That is a claim, not a verdict. We do not ask for certificates on day one. We ask for proof only when someone else has a reason to doubt it.

If more than one person wants to look after the page, this is the order:

1. 1. Partner
2. 2. Child
3. 3. Parent
4. 4. Relative
5. 5. Friend

Partner means the person they shared their life with — a spouse, civil partner, or long-term companion. Child includes adopted children. A higher place on this list can take stewardship from a lower one. A friend may start a page. Family may take care of it later. The friend’s memories stay.

We cannot know, from a form, whether you are the partner or the neighbour. We also should not leave a family without a page until two people argue. So we do not wait for multiple requests before a page can exist.

Here is how the truth arrives:

• A page can exist after one honest request. The first steward is trusted until someone with standing says otherwise.
• We look for the same person, not the same argument. Name plus dates of birth and passing. If a page already exists, you do not get a second one. You are offered that page: add a memory, or claim care of it.
• A claim is how rank is tested. “I am their child. I should look after this.” We notify the current steward. They have 14 days to respond.
• Proof is for conflict, not for grief. We ask for something ordinary — an obituary that names you, a death or birth record, a marriage record, or a short signed statement — only when a claim would take the page from someone else, when two people of the same rank disagree, or when someone says this person is still alive.
• Two friends vouching is not next of kin. Vouches mean “this person was real.” They do not mean “I outrank their widow.”

Tell us who you are to them. We write to the current steward. Then:

• If your place in the order is higher, and they cannot show a stronger relationship, care moves to you.
• If you are the same rank — two children, two parents — we ask you to share the page as co-stewards. We will not choose between you.
• If you cannot share it, the freeze rule applies until you send written agreement or formal papers. We will not choose.
• If your place is lower, you may still add memories. You do not take the keys.

This place is only for people who have died. A page for a living person — as a prank, as harassment, or by mistake — is not allowed.

If we learn a page is about someone still alive, we take it down at once. The creator’s account is banned for good. If the person themselves tells us, it stays down. There is no waiting period and no appeal that puts the page back while they are living.

If two or more verified immediate family members disagree — estranged siblings, a current spouse and an ex-spouse, or anyone else of close standing — about the story, the photos, or who holds the keys, the page is frozen at once.

While a page is frozen:

• What is already approved stays visible. It remains a quiet room.
• Nobody may add a new post.
• Neither side may edit the bio, change photos, approve memories, or delete anything.

The freeze lasts until the family gives us a written agreement among themselves, or formal papers that settle the dispute. We will not mediate, judge, or choose. We are not a court, and we will not read old messages to decide who loved them more.

A verified primary next of kin — in our order, that is first the partner, then a child — or a legal executor may ask us to take a page offline at any time.

Before a page is permanently deleted, the creator and the family are given the chance to download the whole archive: the words, the photos, and the audio. We will not erase a life’s guestbook in a hurry. Hide first, delete only after that copy is offered.

A fight between relatives is not a reason to empty the room. If they cannot agree, we freeze. We do not pick a winner by deleting everyone else’s memories.

The ex who created the page first. A later partner or an adult child can claim. The ex keeps any memories they wrote. They do not keep the keys if they are lower in the order.

Two children who disagree. The page freezes. They stay co-stewards, or they send us written agreement. We will not pick.

A friend who loved them, and a quiet family. The friend may start the page. If family arrives and claims, family becomes steward. The friend’s words stay on the wall.